I promise....

.....there is a perfectly acceptable excuse for my lack of blogging.

41 days and counting.

you guys... you guys! ragnar is 41, FORTY ONE, days away.... how the heck am i'm going to be able to run 16.4 miles by then? blood, sweat and tears i'm sure. i'm happy to say i'm at least back in a running routine, i forgot how good it feels to run 6 miles. my biggest problem now is making the time to run. between a full time job, school, homework, and a mild social life i already feel a bit over extended, but i gotta make the time to make it happen. i mean, who really needs sleep after all?

there are parts of me that are excited for ragnar, like the part that remembers i'll be running from hunting beach to san deigo- at sea level.

41 days!

in other news.

i feel like i haven't blogged in, well, forever. it's probably mostly due to more busy, busy, boring schedule. but let me, let you in on the details of the life of brooke:

• i'm now 23. i think i'm smarter now at 23 than i was at 22. i know i already said it, but i've got a good feeling about 23.
• i got school 5, yes FIVE, days a week. i. hate. it. especially the three days a week, 7 am geology class. yawn.
• i'm still running, at least trying to. winter running is not my idea of fun. two months until the southern california ragnar, and i'm nowhere near where i ought to be.
• work. 40 hours a week. yawn.
• i'm working on not drinking, or at least dramatically decreasing, my diet coke consumption.
• i'm re-considering the singles ward. heaven help me.
• i now have 3 callings in my ward.
• my new $60 phone case that i bought myself for my birthday broke. eff. the only thing they will do is discount a new one. ya right?! like i want to drop another $50 on one. no thank you.
• i'm growing my hair out.
• i have been on one date since the beginning of the year. i'm as single as they come, and for the first time in my entire life i'm surprisingly ok with it.

to sum it up life is just busy, busy, busy! i go from sun-up to sun-down, however, i can honestly say i'm happier than i have ever been. i don't know what to attribute it to. maybe just a change of perspective?

23!

wow, you all know how to make a girl feel special on her birthday! honestly i've been so humbled by the good people i'm lucky enough to have in my life. as far as birthday's go, i'm going to say today was just about perfect. thank you. thank you. thank you, to all those who made today so special for me. i love each and everyone of you.

thank you:
mom. dad. trent. amy. brad. heidi. mike. jamie. jacob. candice. jill. cameron. jenny. annie. maga. dan. michelle t. gbenga. jordan. aubree. alex. bridget. ben. carolyn. kim. nicole. brooke. justin. talmage. kc. jeevan. joie. michelle m. jantzen. jen. mandy. lenice. shane. nathan. amanda. carey. elise. izzy. ashlee. jenna. craig. ian. mike. april. meagan. laurie. whitney. steve. ryan. chelsee. laura. meagan j. shaleigh. danika. nancy. nicholas. danielle. matt. marggie. kristen. marty. kristine. alice. brother butler. bishop moore. heather. tracey. kaylee.
{i really hope i didn't miss anyone. i apologize if i did.}

i have a good feeling about 23, i think it's going to be my year. thanks again for all the birthday love! here's to happy and healthy new year....it's going to be great, i can just feel it!

happy brithday to me.

it's almost my birthday! did you know?
my brithday, and my tax return usually go hand in hand... that's where things get a bit dangerous.

you see my brithday is probably my most favorite day of the year.
it's a pretty big deal in my mind...
like make my own brithday card at work, kind of big deal.


yes, i really did color that.

 I also get my tax return this time of year.
Then I decided to buy things for my "brithday" that I would never buy normally.
Like today.
Ever since before I got an iPhone I've wanted a wooden case for it, but they are kind of spendy.
Today, while I was making my birthday card of course, I decided that's what I would get myself for my brithday.
Soooo, I bought one. Kind of spendy. Totally unnecessary. But totally cool.

happy brithday to me.

how i ended up here.

let me tell you all a story.

2 years ago {almost 3 now} i moved back up to salt lake from st. george. i lived at home for a bit then moved in with my sister jill, in just a few short months she met her husband and i was once again looking for a place to live. amy suggested i moved into their basement, but i was working in draper at the time, and the commute didn't appeal to me. within a week of jill being engaged a position posted for a loan officer at our research park office.{which had been posted as an assistant manager position, but i wasn't qualified to apply for} i asked amy if she was serious about me living their before i applied for the position, she and trent talked and the offer was on the table. i applied for the position, interviewed, and a week later i had the job. within just another couple of months jill got married and i moved into trent and amy's home.

me ending up at the branch i'm at has been such a blessing in and of it's self. i've had the opportunity to advance through the company. i have a manager who has taken the time to invest in me and help me learn along the way. i've experienced promotions, trainings, raises, set backs, received awards and the chance to really push myself. i love my job and consider it a blessing in my life.

me ending up at trent and amy's and being where i am with my job is no happenstance. i can see so clearly the lord's hand in me being where i am in life. living at trent and amy's has been such a blessing, their kids have truly become my own, in fact i often refere to them as "my kids". i'm so grateful for this time in my life to be a part of their lives. i hope and pray that these sweet kids will have fond memories of me living with them. i don't fully know how to articulate my thoughts on the love i feel for these kids. all i know is i feel like i have a glimpse of what it must feel like to be a parent, to have a deep unconditional love for another human being.

i know things ended up the way they did for a reason. things don't just end up this good without a little help from upstairs.

{by the way, while i was writing this paige and morgan were sitting next to me asking me if they "dared them" to touch the keys... they thought they were pretty hilarious, me, not so much.}

Down for the count.

The 24 hour (I'm hoping that's all it is) stomach flu hit me with a vengeance this morning. For the greater part of today everything I've consumed had come right back up, including a sip of water. I've been so miserable that I haven't even been able to sleep today. After an awful 15 hours I'm beginning to feel like I'm on the mend, thank heavens. Today has made me so grateful for the health that I so abundantly enjoy! I thought so many different times today of those who are continually sick, seriously, good health is such a blessing! Here's to hoping the bug is on its way out of my system!

2012

{pin}

i've thought long and hard about what i want to work on in 2012. i've never been one to make new year's resolutions, but i decided this would be a good year to start. as i took inventory on my life and the things i need to improve on i decided patience, both with myself and especially others, is something that could use some serious work. as it thought more about patience i thought it ironic how quickly we as humans lose patience with one another. we for one reason or another assume that those around us are not trying, or being malicious in their actions. why is that? why are we so quick to assume the worst in those around us? on the flip side, when those around us become impatient with us, we expect them to understand that we are trying our hardest and our best. we beg for patience and understanding. ironic, isn't it.

i need to remind myself that there is not one of us who isn't silently fighting a hard battle. we are all here experiencing this crazy thing called life and doing the best we can to lead good lives. i think back to the people that i have been unkind to for one reason or another and hurt thinking about what they might possibly be going through. i never want to hinder those i come in contact with, but rather buoy them up. i want to be recognized as a good person and a good friend.

i most certainly have my work cutout for me, this was without a doubt the most difficult resolution i set... but without a doubt the most worthy one.

here we go again.

well folks i went against my better judgement i agreed to run another ragnar race, the enticing part of this one? it happens to be in southern california. i mean really, how can you say no to that?

there were many times during ragnar las vegas i wondered to myself, "why in the heck does anyone run one of these races". it's the most emotional, exhausting, challenging, hot, uncomfortable thing i've ever done in my life.

so why am i doing it again?

because it was one of the best and most rewarding experiences i've ever had in my life.

it was so hard, and there were times i wondered if i was capable of finishing, but i finished..

i did something i literally didn't think i could do.

as i've started to train for the next installment i wondered once again why i decided to run.

then i remembered this moment....

it was the best moment of ragnar!

finishing my final leg.

aside from the fact that i was done running.

i had just finished something so physically and emotionally challenging.

as i turned my final corner, i saw my family waiting for me at the exchange point.

in my life i have never been as exhausted as i was in that moment.

heidi was waiting for me to hand off.

trent, jacob, and my dad were on the side lines cheering me on.

as i got to heidi she grabbed me and hugged me, tears came.

 and all i could say was:

"i did it!"

and that is why i'm running ragnar again.

the plan

if i only i knew where to start.

life is full of uncertainties, and sometimes i just need someone to reassure me that "everything will be okay". i feel like life is slowly passing me by while i sit by planning what i want to happen. i'm not very good at letting go and having faith in the future that lies ahead of me. for some reason i think i know what "the plan" should be, and don't trust in his plan. i dwell on the past, mistakes i've made, opportunities i missed, and people i've wronged. i fear disappointing those i love, and failing in the things i pursue. i just wish i could let go and let life happen to me. i know that i have a father in heaven that has a plan for me, a plan that is better than anything i could plan for myself. everything will be okay, it will be better than ok, it will be perfect.

just a coupla things.

• we now have candy canes instead of tiger pops at the credit union, which can only mean one thing, christmas is here! without a doubt christmas is my most favorite time of year! i just want to soak in every minute of this season.
• i generally shy away from fashion blogs and posts because who am i to say what one should or shouldn't wear. fashion is all about finding out what you like and what works for you... however, after a weekend shopping with my sisters i have just one thing to say. ed hardy and juicy couture are a serious DON'T! ok, i'm done.
• i love, and i mean love my job. {at least most the time} i can see the lord's hand in me ending up where i am, thank goodness for unanswered prayers.
• the sweet lady i work in nursery with called me yesterday to invite me over to sunday dinner. you see, she has two single sons she wants to line me up with and wanted me to come over so i could decided on whom i wanted to go out with. that was just a little too weird for me, so i politely declined. her efforts are appreciated though.
• i bought the "color code" book at the d.i. a few months ago. {you know, the one that tells you if you are a red, blue, white, or yellow}  i have been making everyone i know take it! the simple joys.
• running has come to a screeching halt! i ran a 5k on thanksgiving and nearly died... i need to get my sorry butt running, i. just. don't. want. to!
• something is wrong with the breaks on my car and i just don't want to take it in because i know they are going to tell me they can fix it for a coupla hundred dollars. i hate owning a car. money pit.
• i paid $3.12 for gas tonight, that was a welcome surprise.
• i was in st. george last week and didn't even get a 25 and main cupcake, what?!
• it's safe to say i over spent this past weekend. why can't money grow on trees? i would like the record to show that if i did have a money tree i would share it's fruits with all you fine people!
• my father, brothers, and brother-in-laws are a reminder of the caliber of men that are out there.
• it always amazes me how much i love me nieces and nephews. i can't imagine loving anyone more than i love those kids. i'm probably going to burst when i have my own sweet babies.
• sometimes i'm in awe with all that i am blessed with, i don't know what i did to deserve all that i have been given, but i am so grateful.
• my name is brooke jensen, and i am a mormom. {have you guys seen those new commercials? i love them, and secretly want to be in one.}
• does anyone else find it ironic that neil diamond is jewish and has a christmas album? just something to think about.

that's it ya'll! have a happy week!

i got my bases covered

diet coke, m&m's, silly putty, and hand sanitizer.

what else do you need to get through a day of work?

one way communcation

life has been such a frustration lately. i've been so over whelmed and feel like i've been taken to the max. it just doesn't seem like there are enough hours in the day lately. i don't have the time to do everything i'd like to do, or need to do. instead i have to prioritize, and my top two priorities right now are work and school, yuck! i feel like i've been a bad friend., a sub-par student and employee, and not the person i know i'm really capable of being, feeling extremely inadequate. needless to say, i've been really hard on myself, and just down on life in general. sometimes leading such a busy life gets super lonely, and i forget to make the time in the day to actually have a conversation with someone, including my heavenly father.

seeing is that i'm in nursery i don't seem to get much out of church, however yesterday was the exception.... it was our primary program, and the kids sang "a child's prayer" one of my favorite songs. the second verse brought me to tears and was a tender mercy from my heavenly father letting me know he's there and willing to listen.

"pray, he is there.
speak, he is listening.
you are his child.
his love now surrounds you.
he hears your prayers.
he loves the children,
of souch is the kingdom.
the kingdom of heave'n"

i'm so grateful i have a heavenly father that speaks to me, even when i don't always speak to him.

the crowing moment.

it has been a week. a rough week.
and to top it all off, tonight happened.

i went out for a run right when i got home from work.
i left once and remembered i left my garmin watch, so i ran back in.
then i remembered i didn't have my ipod, so i ran back in.
already off to a bad start.
i drove down to my favorite route and began my run.
just before i hit mile one i ate it.
i don't know what i tripped over, but suddenly i was falling.
i hit the pavement and it hurt. my hands started stinging, and my knee was throbbing.
i was kind of in shock, so i quickly stood up, and tried to brush it off.
i thought i would just hurry and run back to my car, but after about 5 steps i knew that wasn't going to be happening... me knee hurt too bad.
i slowly made my way back to the car, all while trying to fight back tears, then it started to rain.
{guys, i can't make this stuff up.}
i called my mom, and just lost it. i couldn't hold back tears anymore and just sobbed.
she talked to me while i made my way back to the car.
i got in the car, hung up the phone, and then i really lost it.

i walked in the door and my people were all in the kitchen, amy was a trooper and got some tweezers and picked the pavement out of my hand.... all while the little people hugged my legs and told me they "wuved" me.

i know my hand and knee will get better but the thing that won't get better are my brand spakin new {worn once, $133.} running shoes. really, it just makes me want to cry all over again...

i think it's safe to say i've hit rock bottom this week. which means, there is no where to go but up.

tonight

i'm grateful for "my kids".

even on the worst of days, they can make the world right.

and for that, i love them infinitely!

seriously... what's not to love?