Monday, December 26, 2011

here we go again.

well folks i went against my better judgement i agreed to run another ragnar race, the enticing part of this one? it happens to be in southern california. i mean really, how can you say no to that?
there were many times during ragnar las vegas i wondered to myself, "why in the heck does anyone run one of these races". it's the most emotional, exhausting, challenging, hot, uncomfortable thing i've ever done in my life.
so why am i doing it again?
because it was one of the best and most rewarding experiences i've ever had in my life.
it was so hard, and there were times i wondered if i was capable of finishing, but i finished..
i did something i literally didn't think i could do.
as i've started to train for the next installment i wondered once again why i decided to run.
then i remembered this moment....
it was the best moment of ragnar!
finishing my final leg.
aside from the fact that i was done running.
i had just finished something so physically and emotionally challenging.
as i turned my final corner, i saw my family waiting for me at the exchange point.
in my life i have never been as exhausted as i was in that moment.
heidi was waiting for me to hand off.
trent, jacob, and my dad were on the side lines cheering me on.
as i got to heidi she grabbed me and hugged me, tears came.
 and all i could say was:
"i did it!"

and that is why i'm running ragnar again.

Monday, December 12, 2011

the plan

if i only i knew where to start.

life is full of uncertainties, and sometimes i just need someone to reassure me that "everything will be okay". i feel like life is slowly passing me by while i sit by planning what i want to happen. i'm not very good at letting go and having faith in the future that lies ahead of me. for some reason i think i know what "the plan" should be, and don't trust in his plan. i dwell on the past, mistakes i've made, opportunities i missed, and people i've wronged. i fear disappointing those i love, and failing in the things i pursue. i just wish i could let go and let life happen to me. i know that i have a father in heaven that has a plan for me, a plan that is better than anything i could plan for myself. everything will be okay, it will be better than ok, it will be perfect.