Where to begin? To be quite frank I don't have have news to report, so instead I thought I would blog about the many emotions I've experienced lately... please note this blog is mostly for journal purposes, and a way to articulate my thoughts, an outlet if you will.
With the start of the new year it's brought it's challenges and trials. I'm at a stage in my life where things are always changing, very uncertain times. Up until now everything in my life has been planned out on a specific time line. Post high school is a different story, life starts changing at different paces for different people. Not needing to go into details this aspect of life has had me down, wondering when God is going to send something wonderful my way. Events started piling one on top of another, and then it happened, I hit my breaking point. I hated my life and everything in it, and I couldn't manage to find anything good in it. Even the things that were good were changed into negative things. My glass was half empty.
One fateful night I met with my bishop, he gave me some inspired advice. Sometimes in life we have the calm before the storm. Other times in life we get the storm first. It's a way to be humbled and prepared. He gave me an incredible article to read and sent me on my way. As I read the article I realized that it was a message I, Brooke Jensen, needed to hear. "Look ahead and remember faith is always pointed to the future." Something inside me changed that night, I realized I can't control lots of things in my life, but I get to control how I react and feel about those things. I decided to stop being so irritated and down about the things I can't change, but rather just embrace them. The past couple of weeks I couldn't have been any happier, things were just going my way. The beautiful part of it all, nothing spectacular happened, I was just happy with MY life.
Moving forward is the theme of the article, not looking back and longing for the days of yesterday. I needed help realizing that. Most importantly I feel like I was being prepared for tonight's events. I know I've been so focused on a previous boyfriend and the time that I shared with him. I knew I wasn't supposed to marry him and moved on, kind of. I did what I was told to do, but not with faith. This article helped me see the error in my ways, and was the final push that I needed to let all the way go. Tonight I found out that, that same boyfriend is engaged, but it's ok. For a second the room started spinning around me, but then shortly there after I was overcome with peace. I have firm faith in my decision and most importantly faith in the road that lies ahead of me.
I don't know that my storm is over yet, but I do know that now I have a better idea of how to weather said storm. I don't need to look back any longer, only forward. Life is what you choose to make out of it, I have so many things to be grateful for, even the imperfections.
"I would like to suggest that we stop seeking the storms in life, and enjoy the sunlight."
-Gordon B. Hinckley
8 comments:
Post high school life can be sad, irritating, confusing, cranky and can equal a big cloud of worthlessness. (I'm trying not to talk in a derogatory way about myself.)
I love it when you say, nothing spectacular happened, yet you learned to be happy in your own life- that sentence held the most power for me.
Bless you girl and hope you sail through every storm just as beautifully as you've inspired me to sail through mine.
Oh man. Every time you write something like this I so remember being in your exact same position at that phase in my life . . . with all the uncertainty. I remember hearing when "my missionary" got engaged and had the same reaction - the room spun for a minute and then I felt peace and knew that everything would be ok . . . and it was much more than ok. Brian is so much better than I could have hoped for and I know it'll be the same for you.
Good for you to see the light during the storm. It can be hard to do, but it sounds like you're really mastering it. Hang in there, sweet girl. You're doing so much good and your happily ever after is just around the corner.
xoxoxo
Oh Brook, how I needed this. Ever since we moved 2 months ago I have been in a serious funk. I have felt exactly how you described your life. I read the article you put a link to, and boy, have I been guilty of "looking back". I cherish the time we lived in Sandy and always will, but I need to look forward to the future, with faith, and know that I will cherish the time here in our new home as well. Thanks for the wake-up call.♥♥♥
What a wonderfully optimistic post! My faith has been somewhat lacking in making a certain decision that has been a long time coming. I appreciate your insight!
You're so fun, can't wait to get together again!
Oh, Brookie. I love, LOVE you! You were just what I needed today. You have the amazing gift of lifting others around you. Thanks for sharing the love today - so needed it.
And I admire your positive attitude. I could take a page from your life book. I love everything you said, especially finding the happiness in our lives - no matter what's going on. You're a love and an inspiration.
And I'm still trying to forgive you for buying that shirt today. It should have been mine. So, so jealous. You're going to rock it!
Brooke, you are awesome and amazing. You are an inspiration to all of us. Just remember you are loved!!!
Oh Brookie,
I really love reading your blog because everything you say helps me as a person. Keep being a strong person, I can fel something is headed your way and it will be amaZing no one deserves more blissful happiness then you and Zi am just really excited for next weekend.
What you said is so true- despite whatever is going on in your life, good or bad- it's up to you how to feel about it all. It's good to live for today in preparation for the future whilst having grown from all your experiences in the past.
If you make your 'present' thinking about the past... what does that make of your future?
A lot of people are sad in the present because something in their past was better, or something great in their future hasn't happened yet... what does that make of your present?
No-one ever thinks bad of the past.
But past, or future... the only thing you experience is your present, so you should make the most of it you can, at least thats what I do.
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