enough.

let me preface this post with this:
my name is brooke jensen, and i've always liked who i am inside and out. however, like every girl i have my insecurities. my biggest one has ALWAYS been my weight. i've always sized myself up to other girls.
"are my thighs as big as hers?"
"is my tummy as flat as hers?"
"is that what my body looks like?"
yadda, yadda, yadda...
i've always tired to roll my weight concerns off my back like i didn't care, but the truth is i really do care. so this morning when i weighed myself i hit a new low, and by low i mean high. now the only reason i'm posting the number the scale told me is because i'm ready to do something about it! without further ado....
YIKES, right?! i'd say so.
so this is where i set myself up for a challenge. now that i've told you that number i have to do something about it....
i brooke jensen will be down to 170 by the end of this year. i don't know how i'll do it, but i will.

.......

-how on earth did utah pull out that win?! regardless of HOW it happened i'm so happy it did. byu fans, we've had our share of painful looses.
-i need to keep reminding myself that i don't get to pick the timing of things.
-what do i get all the loves of my life for christmas?
-why is 9:36 on a saturday night and i'm home in bed blogging?
-i need to lose at least 20 lbs during this month.
-remember how i need to lose 20 lbs? now let me tell you something about me, i loved high school, but once it was over, it was over. i've tired very hard not to keep in touch with people from high school, and to keep my life out of reach of high school peeps. however, on dec 29th my bff michelle is marrying jarrick. {fellow jhs peep} now their wedding {which will be epic} will be a hs reunion of sort. and is it so wrong that i don't want to be fat for it?! IS IT!?
-remember how i blogged about those glasses i was getting, ya, turns out those aren't the ones i even ordered. i'm an idiot. however, i'm still praying the ones i DID get help my migraines.
-how is it that someone i know of got 25 tickets to mo tab's christmas thing, and i didn't get one? i e-mailed the church, don't worry. {side note: if anyone has any tickets they will not be using i would LOVE to have even just one!}
-i wish my ward members wouldn't have found out i can tickle the ivorys.
-deleting fb was a solid decision.
-i'm becoming more and more content keeping to myself. i need to working on not being so antisocial.
-why are people mean? why can't we all just realize we are all just a bunch of people doing the best we can?
-i'm beyond grateful for all that i have been so abundantly blessed with.

do me proud....

paying credit...

i want to give credit where credit is do. i never wanted to be guilty of taking without giving proper credit.
{because trust me, i am NOT creative}
this adorable print can be found here.
i know it's almost christmas, but can't i justify getting it?
i'm in l.o.v.e.

jfk

see the handsome man on the far right? that's my great-grandfather cal rawlings.

recognize the man in the middle? jfk

needless to say he was KIND of big deal.

stuck

picture this...

me and my friend who happens to be born and raised in san deigo

{not used to snow. and ESPECIALLY not used to driving in it}

trying to make it up the perilous hills the must be conquered to get me home.

half way up one hill {the first one} aubry says,

"my car won't go"

so me being the 'experienced' utah driver that i am responds,

"no big deal. do you trust me to drive your car? i got this."

switch drivers.

another 100 yards

"@!#*"

yep, i just slid off the road in aubry's car into the curb.

what does any girl do?

calls her big brother to come rescue her.

keep in mind we are only about 1/2 mile from my house.

we sat and waited for a minute.

aubry wasn't worried about getting unstuck, she was worried about driving back down.

trent shows up to save the day!

he gets us UNstuck.

figures out how to turn on aubry's traction something or other...

good to go, right?

we decided to see aubry to safety.

trent took the lead.

i followed.

not even 2 minutes later, i'm stuck AGAIN.

trent parks his car and runs back up the hill to where i'm stuck...

UNstuck... yet AGAIN.

{keep in mind trent is beyond patient with me this entire time}

we F.I.N.A.L.L.Y. get aubry to safety.

trent drives me home.

run downstairs to change. i'm late to meet my friends. and wondering if i'm really going to make it back down all the hills without dying.

run back up stairs and outside.

trent has MY car running, windows scrapped.

i tell him "THANK YOU!"

i joked that i'd take an extra coat and food incase i couldn't get back up the hills.

trent's response,

"just call me, i'll come get you."

I. HAVE. THE. BEST. BIG. BROTHER.

trent jensen, your my hero.

important business

i don't know why i found this so hilarious this morning.

today's thought...

"i would like to suggest we stop seeking the storms in life, and enjoy the sunlight."

-president gordon b. hinckley

rat tails {&} credit unions

exhibit a: the rat tail.
exhibit b: problem solved.

now who wants to tell me they don't do this at work?

moms

6:05 a.m. tuesday
i was standing in my bathroom getting ready for the day that was ahead of me. i remembered i had an appointment with dr. jackson to get a new retainer, knowing there was no possible way i couple swing my appointment come thursday. instantly i was in a panic trying to figure out when my insanely busy schedule would allow me to get all the way out to sandy, not once, but twice.

in that moment i had a sudden realization. i had braces on for almost four years. i had an appointment once a month for all that time. being that i was in elementary school and middle school my only means of transportation was my mom. times that by 4 other kids, that's a LOT of trips to dr. jackson office. then i thought even more. my adolescence consisted of:
-dance lessons{ballet, jazz, tap, and gymnastics}
-piano lessons
-rec soccer teams
-high school swimming
-tennis
and that's just me. i have 6 other siblings that were all involved in equally busy activities. i was beyond humbled by the many sacrifices my mom had {and continues} made. i'm sure there were a million other things my mom would have rather been doing with her time. i mean who wouldn't want to drive 7 kids around to a million different activities?? right?

my freshman year of high school i decided i want to be on the swim team. fun and ambitious right? i'm sure that's what my mom thought when i told her there were two practices a day, one at 5:30 a.m. and the other after school. that meant my mom {or sometimes dad} waking up at 5:10 a.m. three times a week to get me to practice. that also meant mom picking me up at 5 p.m. 4 days a week, and one day a week {sometimes two} with a 4-5 hr swim meet. looking back on that i don't ever remember my mom complaining about it. the worst part is, i don't remember ever thanking her either.

the point is my mom has made countless sacrifices for me over the course of my life. i don't know that i will every be able to fully understand or appreciate all that she's done for me until i'm a mom doing the same things. but i've caught a glimpse of it. grateful hardly seems adequate.

so mom, thank you for the:
-countless rides to my different endeavors.
-countless "mom, if so-and-so's mom drops us off can you pick us up?"
-the hours of YOUR time you spent on me.
-the many nights you were up with sick kids.
-the numberless dinners you had on the table every night at 6.
-for always being home after school with a snack and a listening ear.
-for scaring away the nightmares.
-for drying wet eyes.
-for letting me know there is nothing in the world more important then me.
-for committing to a 6:20 a.m. family scripture study. {which often left you with grouchy kids who were up earlier then they otherwise would have been}
-for making me lunches all the way through my senior year of high school.
-for being my best friend.

so to all you young mother's out there. i'm sure there are many days and night when you feel like your giving motherhood every ounce of energy you have and it all goes unnoticed...it probably does. but one day your kids will grow up... they will have a moment like mine. they will be filled with unspeakable gratitude. they will realize just HOW much you've sacrificed, and all that you've done for them.

mom. i love you. thank you. thank. you.

sg

i'm back. back from a weekend of heaven. sometimes a change of scenery is just what the doctor ordered. in this case, it most certainly was! fun was had. lessons were learned. fabulous purchases were purchased. avoidess were avoided. and last but not least, recouping was recouped. i'm tellin you, a little slice of heaven.

so let us recap.

1. the scenery. b.e.a.utiful.
the weather was perfect. perfect.
2. ben
ben was my person through my life in dixie days.
he's one of those friends that i can go months without seeing and it's like nothing has changed.
i love ben. he gets me. i get him.
i just wish he lived a little bit closer.
we had some GOOD times when together. good times.

{ picture taken on one of our many trips to vegas.}

3. shopping.

we did a LOT of it.

heidi had her boys down there and they were such sports.

every day of shopping ended in shear exhaustion.

it was all worth it... you'll soon see why.

{we jensen girls know. how. to. shop.}

4. indulgence and excess.

case in point.

-maroon

-brown fishnets

-mustard

-grey

-black and cream hound tooth.
can a girl really ever have too many pairs of tights?

5. will. you. please. look. at. these.

do i really need to say anymore?

6. i've continued to avoid that one boy. that's twice as hard now because that one boy has a wife.

{i did have a moment of panic worried i'd see him.}

7. time goes by SO much quicker when your not doing the day-to-day mundane tasks.

i'm not ready for another week to start. regardless of that, it will, tomorrow at 5:45.

but fun things are in store for this week, including and not limited to:

• aubry's birthday dinner.
• bachelorette party/bridal shower for michelle francom.
• assembling thanksgiving dinner for families in need.
• cute new clothes to wear.
• and you know.... all the other things.

and that about sums up another perfect trip to sg.

i'm outta here...

the only thing standing between me and my weekend is a math test.

{PLEASE pray that i do well}

after said test i'm off to meet up with my sister and down to st. george we go.

i.

am.

so.

ready.

to.

go.

a weekend full of swimming/hot tub, diet coke, shopping, movies, reading...

heaven, right?

i'd say so.

peace.

this is my joy.

if were being real with ourselves it's been a relatively negative day. {i will not go into details} i decided to do a post about things i'm grateful for, but it kinds of just turned into things that make me happy.... sooooo ready or not, here i go.

1.this beyond beautiful fall we've had. b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l.

2. i belong to the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints.

may blessing in my life come from this.

3. means of transportation = jezebel.

4. if anyone knows anything about me it's this. i love me a good ruffle and a sassy collar. done.

5. good friends.

not just ashlee in particular, aubry, you know i'm talkin' about you too....

6. running water. where would my life be without it?

7. kirk herbstreit. just look at him.

i love him.

and love looking at him.

beautiful.

8. education. as much as i hate school, i'm grateful i have the opportunity to educate myself.

9. last but not least. having a job.

11/03/10

6:00 alarm {snooze}
6:05 snooze
6:10 out of bed. hair. makeup. dressed.
6:29 out the door, on my way.
7:03 out of breath. but in class.
8:37 off to training I.
9:00 3 1/2 hrs of loan regulations.
12:30 lunch meets home work @ yanni's.
1:10 training II starts. {3 hrs of speaking in finance jargon.}
4:00 insurance benefit meeting.
4:47 arrive at branch to balance branch and close.
6:23 off to study.
6:47 city library for study sesh.
8:31 home. at. last.
8:35 dinner.
8:47 cuddle "the babies".
9:07 shower. teeth. jammies. bed.
9:36 blogging.
10:00 BED!

what a day.

Dear Casanova,

I'll admit, at first I was charmed, now I realize "fooled" is a better word. I wonder what me, a 21 year-old ever did to upset you so.

Was it that I didn't mindless bow down to your chauvinistic ideals?

Was it personality and opinions to strong for a woman?

Was it that I wasn't afraid to tell my friend you were no good?

Was it because you were threatened by me, a silly 21 year-old girl?

Regardless of reason, I think the immaturity of this situation has gone to far.

So tonight I say my peace and then I'm done.

If you don't like me {for whatever reason} don't feel it necessary to make a point of telling everyone how much "I suck". Or how "dumb" I am.

{granted those words are coming from the mouth of a 30-something year-old}

Pick a girl and stick with her, and be sure she knows all sides of you...

I'm sorry for the evening I put a kink in your plans, but what do you say we forgive and forget?

Please stop pointing out all the things you don't like about me.

It's not your place to label and judge all those whom you come in contact with.

Remember where you are in life and all that you've accomplished before minimizing others feats in life.

You may have 95% of the female race blinded, but I see you as you are.

So now I'm done.

No more back biting.

No more snide comments.

Just two people existing, without acknowledgement.

Yours Truly,

Arnold.