this is my joy.

if were being real with ourselves it's been a relatively negative day. {i will not go into details} i decided to do a post about things i'm grateful for, but it kinds of just turned into things that make me happy.... sooooo ready or not, here i go.

1.this beyond beautiful fall we've had. b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l.

2. i belong to the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints.

may blessing in my life come from this.

3. means of transportation = jezebel.

4. if anyone knows anything about me it's this. i love me a good ruffle and a sassy collar. done.

5. good friends.

not just ashlee in particular, aubry, you know i'm talkin' about you too....

6. running water. where would my life be without it?

7. kirk herbstreit. just look at him.

i love him.

and love looking at him.

beautiful.

8. education. as much as i hate school, i'm grateful i have the opportunity to educate myself.

9. last but not least. having a job.

11/03/10

6:00 alarm {snooze}
6:05 snooze
6:10 out of bed. hair. makeup. dressed.
6:29 out the door, on my way.
7:03 out of breath. but in class.
8:37 off to training I.
9:00 3 1/2 hrs of loan regulations.
12:30 lunch meets home work @ yanni's.
1:10 training II starts. {3 hrs of speaking in finance jargon.}
4:00 insurance benefit meeting.
4:47 arrive at branch to balance branch and close.
6:23 off to study.
6:47 city library for study sesh.
8:31 home. at. last.
8:35 dinner.
8:47 cuddle "the babies".
9:07 shower. teeth. jammies. bed.
9:36 blogging.
10:00 BED!

what a day.

Dear Casanova,

I'll admit, at first I was charmed, now I realize "fooled" is a better word. I wonder what me, a 21 year-old ever did to upset you so.

Was it that I didn't mindless bow down to your chauvinistic ideals?

Was it personality and opinions to strong for a woman?

Was it that I wasn't afraid to tell my friend you were no good?

Was it because you were threatened by me, a silly 21 year-old girl?

Regardless of reason, I think the immaturity of this situation has gone to far.

So tonight I say my peace and then I'm done.

If you don't like me {for whatever reason} don't feel it necessary to make a point of telling everyone how much "I suck". Or how "dumb" I am.

{granted those words are coming from the mouth of a 30-something year-old}

Pick a girl and stick with her, and be sure she knows all sides of you...

I'm sorry for the evening I put a kink in your plans, but what do you say we forgive and forget?

Please stop pointing out all the things you don't like about me.

It's not your place to label and judge all those whom you come in contact with.

Remember where you are in life and all that you've accomplished before minimizing others feats in life.

You may have 95% of the female race blinded, but I see you as you are.

So now I'm done.

No more back biting.

No more snide comments.

Just two people existing, without acknowledgement.

Yours Truly,

Arnold.

aiden {&} andrew

aiden {&} andrew are my basement dwelling buddies.

basically they keep me safe.

tonight they are sleeping over at cousin josh's house.

and i really.

really.

really.

miss their company in the basement.

{notice their p.j.'s, i bought those bad boys for them. i was hailed a hero.}

side note... this was blog post 300...

problems. solved.

a {squared} + b

chili's chips {&} salsa
world. problems. solved.

the u.n. has nothin on us.

weddings & babies

i think i'm the only one from my graduating class that is still soul mateless...

excuse me! where the HELL is mine?! {yep, i swore}

and to add to it, people are starting to have babies now?!

whoa, i'm behind the times.

this poses a question.

IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME?!

i don't even date guys...

so if anyone finds {MY} mr. perfect cattin' around,

you tell him to call me right now.

be sure to tell him.

-i'm nice

-i have a good job

-i'm funny

-i've got style

-i root for the underdog.

-i have long eyelashes.

-i'm normal.

and any other nice thing you'd like to throw in. ok?

too much?

currently my life consists of...

• 40 + hr work weeks.
• 7 credit hrs=
• 6-15 hr of homework
• class that starts at 8 am at the latest, e.v.e.r.y. s.i.n.g.l.e. d.a.y.
• 2 church callings

• an 8 week extensive loan training through my work
• a homework assignment of said loan training

currently my life DOESN'T consist of

• sleep. what's that?
• getting ready
• much of a social life
• anything else that i might want to do, right out the window.

december 17th can't come soon enough.

tender mercies

tonight i laid in my bed with aiden.

{one of the five midgets at my house.}

he has the same problem i've had my whole life.

he l.o.v.e.s. to talk.

so do i.

and i've gotten in trouble for it my entire life.

aiden told me all about the "red" row in his kindergarten class.

how he sits by mathew, who is kind of wired, and changes his shoes too much.

he told me about his recees pieces at school today.

he counted them.

made patterns with them.

shared them.

and enjoyed them.

he snuggled right up to me...

he laid quietly for a minute.

i said, "i love you"

"me too"

my heart melted and the world was made right, if only for just a minute.

i as laid next to aiden and listened to him talked, and watched his precious little hands move, i felt like the luckiest girl in the world. life isn't always how we want it to be, no. but we do have "tender mercies" that show us their is someone who is very aware of us. in my quite {or not so quite} moment with aiden tonight i was over come with love for him. i couldn't imagine loving someone more. i didn't really want my time with him to end. i wanted him to tell me everything that was going through his little mind, i wanted him to know i WANTED to hear those things. i said a little prayer that he would always remember when "fun aunt brooke used to live with us". i hope he always remembers how much i love him. tonight was one of those "tender mercy" experiences. you know when the thought of the moment ending makes your heart hurt a little? you want to take a mental and emotional picture and remember it forever?

it was like that.

today's treat

all in a days work...

FINALLY...after two weeks away from me, my mom is home!

oh... how i missed her.

to celebrate my mothers return {and fall} we ventured all over these beautiful mountains.

notice my shirt... j.crew. l.o.v.e. it.
my b.e.a.utiful mother.

two of my most fabulous pieces for fall! my riding boots, they are the perfect final touch for any outfit. and once again my j.crew shirt. love.

we picked up maga and papa and headed to bountiful.

the kiddo's loved their time with maga.

they were all treated to back rubs... and think it ended in naps.

{the divine miss a}

saturday night.. game time.

we were all set at mom and dad's to watch the game.

turns out, they don't have the channel.

we called up brad and heidi and headed to their house to watch the game.
after half time the game became pretty boring, so annie's became our entertainment.

after annie ditched the high heels james wanted to try them on to see "how they felt to walk in"

i tried to catch a picture of him in the act, but he got away to quickly....

i'll get you next time james.

saturday was a good day. i loved being with my family and enjoyed all my time spent with them.

p.s. my talk went well yesterday.

always on my mind...

• it's time for one of thoughts posts. i've got things on my mind. lots of them.
• there is a scary movies playing in the other room {loud}. so i'm listening to my jon schmidt pandora station {loud} so i can't hear it.
• i hate scary movies.
• i buy. and buy. and buy. clothes. i don't know why. it's so impulsive and i don't need them. but something about something new... and an oh-so-perfect outfit that makes me happy. at least temporally.
• despite some peoples' opinion i'm thankful to be a member of a church that is still willing to make a moral stand on such a hot topic. you go pres packer!
• a friend of mine got married today... i didn't go to his wedding. why? because i'm a jerk. i want it to be me. so i didn't want to go be happy for him. do i sound like i'm 5? i should. because i wanted to cry every time i thought about it.
• did you catch this? how about this? l.o.v.e.d. them both.
• who ever invented math better watch his back.
• i have to speak in church on sunday. i've written and rewritten my talk 4 times tonight. i gave up and moved to blogging.
• people keep asking me if i want to get married... do you know what i want more than that? i just want to be someone's number one. i want to be someone's biggest priority. i want someone who wants to be with me because they love me. not because their husband is off to work or school. not because they need a girl's night out. not because they have nothing better to do. but because they love me, and there is nothing more important in the world then being with me. maybe that's asking too much.
• "When filled with God's love, we can do and see and understand things that we could not otherwise do or see or understand. Filled with His love, we can endure pain, quell fear, forgive freely, avoid contention, renew strength, and bless and help others in ways surprising even to us."
• last week i got pulled over, and by "pulled over" i mean the cop was on foot and held up a stupid stop sign, for speeding. when the cop handing me the ticket he said "i only wrote you for 5 over, but i HAD to give you a ticket" i wanted to say. "NO you didn't HAVE to give me ticket. you CHOOSE to." apparently he didn't listen in sunday school the day they talked about free agency.
• i've never felt more alone in life then i do right now.
• my new found love is reading the news paper. it makes me feel smart.
• i gave up diet coke. i was drinking upwards of 100 oz a day. i've given that up and am now drinking upwards of 125 oz of water a day.
• i registered for my second 5k. i'll train for this one. no need to pull my groin twice.
• my topic on sunday is "why does satan work so hard on 20 something year olds." i want to get up and say... "satans a bee-otch" and sit down. might not go over well, but i doubt they would ask me to speak again.
• i accidentally bought waterproof mascara. have you ever tired taking that crap off. i think i'm down about 100 lashes now.

that's all folks.

talk of the day.

did anyone else catch elder holland's talk today?

byu who?

23-17

14-35

10-34

13-27

16-31

overall 1 in 4....

byu, what is happening?

i used to think i'd love it if byu had to suffer a season like this, now that they are, i feel awful.

so here's to good sportsmanship...

go cougs.

except for nov 27...

then my loyalties lie in the land northward.

*on a side note, conference starts tomorrow... so. excited.

"it is important to know, when you feel down, that many other do also and that their circumstances are generally much worse than yours. and it's important to know that when one of us is down, it becomes the obligation of his friends to give him a lift."

forget yourself. do work. good work.

laugh or cry

life is funny, laugh or cry.

i'm afraid that when god made brooke, i drew the short stick with knowledge.

but my cup runneth over with humor.

so the not so "funny" things that happen in life, still make me laugh.

here are a few conversations i've had as of late that could have gone either way....

but thankfully ended in laughter.

*

aiden: hey bwooke.

bwooke: yes.

aiden: um, your kind of chubby.... but i still wove you.

*

brooke: will you please deposit this into my checking account.

co-worker 1: sure, why do you have a "wedding share"? it's not like your ever going to need it.

{best part, she was DEAD serious}

*

co-worker 2: brooke, did you have a really fun weekend?

brooke: it was fun. but nothing special. why?

co-worker 2: well your normally look better than you do today, so i just thought you may have had too much fun this weekend.

*

brooke: your baby is so cute! how old is she?

asian member: 9 months old. when is your baby due?

brooke: funny thing, i'm not pregnant.

*

oakley: hey bwooke, when's that baby in your tummy going to come out?

*

mom: is it our year for thanksgiving?

brooke: ummm... let me ask my husband. oh wait. yep it is.

*

good thing i can laugh... or i may be doing a lot of crying.

all is well that ends well.

{seriously, i'm grateful that i've been blessed with the ability to laugh. and not take myself too serious}